“Cry your eyes out
Fill your lungs up
We all hurt…”
The weather got into my soul today, so I went outside and had a good cry. It wasn’t a bad thing, though, as I needed to have a deep talk with the Lord.
“…what is that to you? You follow me!”
I am so unworthy
of the great love You have for me.
How can You love someone this wretched?
I stumble day after day.
How can You look at all I’ve done
and still be able to say
“I love her. I choose this one.
She belongs to Me”?
What are the characteristics of a rock? Stable, dependable, able to withstand wind and waves, strong, immovable…
Peter didn’t start out as a particularly rock-like individual. In most areas (other than his ability to SINK like a rock) he was weak and unreliable. As bold as he was in answering questions (and asking them!), when it counted most, he denied that he even knew Jesus.
Can you wait, child,
while I work My will?
Can you trust Me?
Can you be still?
I am working things
which you cannot see.
Can you look up?
Keep your eyes on Me?
Can you wait, child?
Can you just hold on?
this dark won’t last
for I am the dawn.
Now then, sorrow,
do you think to best me?
No! It’s only in your power to test me.
Think to claim a victory
at these tears you wring from me?
You lose when to my knees you drive me.
You make me cry
so you make me pray
and the closer to Him I stay.
Be my companion, if you must,
till all this world crumbles to dust.
I am going home
and where I go
you cannot come.
“There but for the grace of God go I.”
Whenever I am tempted to be frustrated with a fellow Christian’s lack of desire to mortify sin, flee temptation, or truly surrender all, God reminds me of how long I tried to serve two masters. Sometimes I wonder how I managed for so many years with such a disconnect. I wonder how I could have considered myself truly walking with the Lord.
“Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all…”
“Please help me know Your love.”
I have written that in my journals more times than I can count.
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Something that has always struck me about that passage in Hebrews is that we are commanded to lay aside every sin AND weight – the implication being there are non-sinful things that we are a called to lay aside because they hinder us from running full speed after our Savior.
A year ago today, my little girl left – except she wasn’t actually my little girl.